I do love how it feels to have a clean home, but I despise the feeling of anxiety I get to try and keep it that way. I’ve tried so many different “expert methods,” but when it comes right down to it…I get tired and even if I've decided to scrub toilets each Friday, sometimes I just don't have the energy to scrub toilets! I also have three kids and a house that’s way too big (Oh to be back in the day of our cute SMALL apartments, cleaning was so easy).
Does it sound like I’m trying to justify? Well, I am! Do I need to? Probably not, I’m sure you all understand and don’t expect me to have a pristine clean home. Which brings me to my next issue…If stressing about my house weren’t enough, I also stress about what others would think. So not healthy, I know. In a book I read called Contentment, the author, Maria Covey Cole warns about comparing calling it one of the “five metastasizing cancers” of life (the other four are competing, criticizing, complaining and complacency). I even think about what so and so would think if she walked in my house right now, even though so and so lives nowhere near me! It just seems that I’m the only one who can’t keep up. The keyword there is seems. It is only my messed up perception. Why do I care so much about their perception of me? Human nature, I’m sure, but something I need to get past, nonetheless.
So is this just a ranting post about my issues? Nope. It does have a purpose. I’M DONE! I’m done stressing, I’m done killing myself to try and keep up the façade. I will still do my best to keep a decent home. I will continue to teach my children (and husband) to clean up after themselves. The difference will be that if someone stops by (which they probably won’t, so even more reason for me to not worry about the people who don’t come by), I will kindly clear a path for them to the couch and will not ask forgiveness for paying more attention to my family than to my house. It will be tough. But I am seriously done! To prove it, I will do something absolutely horrifying…scroll down to see pictures of my house at this very moment. Wish me luck!
12 comments:
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Where has my sister gone???!!! Yeah, looks like mine.
wow! that's pretty clean for being dirty...mine is 10x worse. and I still care, but I seriously don't have the energy. good for you!
WOW! You.... are my HERO! YOU GO GIRL!!! =)
Pretty Brave posting pics of a "messy house"... I have had it really easy these past few months, Chris gets bored easily, and he cleans... one more reason to love unemployment.
you are not alone. and your bathrom looks really clean compared to mine right now. i like your new attitude! i should probably adopt some of that!
Even if you do 10% of your plan you're doing ok. As long as you are keeping it clean enough to stay healthy... it's all good. The pics prove you are well on your way to not caring what so-and-so thinks. Have you ever stopped off at so-and-so's house unexpectedly?
I love that you are calling this a confession. I think we ALL have a lot of confessing to do, then.
Whoo-hoo!!! So glad you've joined the rest of us normal people.
Rachel you are great!!! No ones house is clean all of the time. I need to adapt more of your attitude and just enjoy being with my family, rather than getting upset that Cassie spilled here cereal all over the floor, again...
So good to see this! I needed to know it was OK to feel like this too! You are great Rachel! Last week I was really feeling quite overwhelmed and made a huge list of all of the jobs I felt like I needed to do. I felt a lot of relief just writing them down, but for two days after making the list I didn't do one of them! Then I talked with my Father in Law and he was telling me that instead of getting weighed down by all the things he thought he should be doing he ignores all the rest and just focuses on the most important thing right in front of him and does that first. He said that you still won't get everything done, but he said you will get the most important things done and the rest will kind of take care of itself.
I liked his advice. So sometimes the most important thing is going to be reading a story and holding my kids, and sometime it is going to be doing the laundry so we have clean socks to wear - my goal is somewhere in there to hit the right balance and make sure I am focusing on what is really important. I know you already know all this, but I have to keep reminding myself every day!
We miss you! Hope we can get together sometime! Take care!
Rachel I finally have my computer back and can check in on your blog and this made me really miss you! I am right there with you. So a shout out to trying to be there for our families and doing the best we can with what time and energy we have left for the house! Who knows if that makes sense but i hope you get the point.
That house looks familiar...wait a minute...
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