Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I don't know what possessed me

I must have been feeling brave. I was tired and hadn't prepared dinner. I've done well sticking to my budget this month and I had a coupon. We should go to Applebee's I thought...

Yeah. It was about like that. Actually, the kids weren't "bad," just busy. I really don't know what I was thinking. What a waste of money! Next time we're just going to McDonalds.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I confess...

I cannot keep a perfectly clean home, or even a semi-clean home for that matter! I stress about my house ALL THE TIME, and for what?! I’m not really sure.

I do love how it feels to have a clean home, but I despise the feeling of anxiety I get to try and keep it that way. I’ve tried so many different “expert methods,” but when it comes right down to it…I get tired and even if I've decided to scrub toilets each Friday, sometimes I just don't have the energy to scrub toilets! I also have three kids and a house that’s way too big (Oh to be back in the day of our cute SMALL apartments, cleaning was so easy).

Does it sound like I’m trying to justify? Well, I am! Do I need to? Probably not, I’m sure you all understand and don’t expect me to have a pristine clean home. Which brings me to my next issue…If stressing about my house weren’t enough, I also stress about what others would think. So not healthy, I know. In a book I read called Contentment, the author, Maria Covey Cole warns about comparing calling it one of the “five metastasizing cancers” of life (the other four are competing, criticizing, complaining and complacency). I even think about what so and so would think if she walked in my house right now, even though so and so lives nowhere near me! It just seems that I’m the only one who can’t keep up. The keyword there is seems. It is only my messed up perception. Why do I care so much about their perception of me? Human nature, I’m sure, but something I need to get past, nonetheless.

So is this just a ranting post about my issues? Nope. It does have a purpose. I’M DONE! I’m done stressing, I’m done killing myself to try and keep up the fa├žade. I will still do my best to keep a decent home. I will continue to teach my children (and husband) to clean up after themselves. The difference will be that if someone stops by (which they probably won’t, so even more reason for me to not worry about the people who don’t come by), I will kindly clear a path for them to the couch and will not ask forgiveness for paying more attention to my family than to my house. It will be tough. But I am seriously done! To prove it, I will do something absolutely horrifying…scroll down to see pictures of my house at this very moment. Wish me luck!